If your mind is poor, I don’t care how much money you have, you will always feel poor. The poor man’s mentality is fascinating because it comes out so smoothly that you don’t even realize it is something negative.
I do a lot of my thinking and observing on the train during rush hour in NYC. So many people crammed into one train car, drinking coffee, dreading Monday, living for Friday and praying that they win the lottery, even though most of us do not even play! Living paycheck to paycheck and even though we know the paycheck comes to our account every two weeks, WE STILL CALL OURSELVES BROKE….
Anybody that really knows me knows I love Google, so I decided to put ‘broke’ in my search engine to see what would come out and here is what I got:
1.past (and archaic past participle) of break.
1.having completely run out of money.“many farmers went broke”synonyms: penniless, moneyless, bankrupt, insolvent, ruined, down-and-out, without a penny to one’s name, without a cent, without one red cent, without two pennies to rub together
Okay, I’m no rocket scientist but if you get money every week or every two weeks, how can you be broke? Especially if you have the same 24 hours as everyone else. The list of synonyms was actually painful to read….
So yesterday, a couple of my friends and I had a conversation about the comedian Kevin Hart, his old wife, his new wife and how he (allegedly) might be cheating on her (the conversation got heated, but that is something for another day). We started talking about how he (allegedly) totally screwed his first wife who ‘held him down” before he was a household name and that because of whatever they signed, she was getting nothing monetarily. Somehow we moved on to the topic of a prenup and I said “what is wrong with a prenup, what if you want to protect yourself?” One of my friends said she didn’t have anything so what difference did it make? I told her she didn’t know what would happen in 5 years and she said she’d be in the same place she was today. I was thoroughly taken aback by her comment to be honest. She said she would be in the same place in 5 years because she was in the same place 5 years ago…. That’s a mentality that I just cannot comprehend, no matter how much I love ya like a sister! The person I was talking to has a great personality, but wow, I didn’t expect that response. She is one of the hardest working and organized people I have ever met and if she chose to do something else, she would excel. But it was a perfect addition to what I was trying to say with this piece. How can anyone predict where they will be in 5 years unless they plan to either do absolutely nothing or they plan to remain in the same state of mind without making a shred of effort to make a change. Why is being mediocre, and sometimes less than mediocre, something we allow to remain in our lives for even a moment? Why would you want to live your life knowing that you will never improve, simply because you never have before?! Especially if you work at your current job with the effort like you own the company?
Most of us work at our jobs like we are owners and CEOs of these companies. We don’t use our sick days because if we take a day off all hell will break loose. Nothing will get done because you are the backbone of your company, yet every time your direct deposit hits, you are crying broke! I cannot say that I have always had an abundance of money, but saying I was broke went against everything I believed in.
I remember hearing Swizz Beatz on the radio talking about the Business Ownership classes he was taking at Harvard University. The one thing that resonated with me was when he said (I am paraphrasing) that one of the most important and beneficial things a business owner can do is hire a manager because a manager will work hard for a company because the title makes it feel like it is their company. In these companies that we work for, we are made to feel special simply because if we feel special, we will deal with whatever nonsense we are thrown. We will deal with feeling broke every two weeks because of the letters after your name on your business card. And even if you are NOT broke, your job makes you feel broke because sometimes the taxes are greater than the net pay!
I am going to share 4 concepts that will allow you to reform the financial part of your brain, shift the way you think, and allow you to feel more in control of your money – in turn making you feel wealthier. The only way for these ideas to work is if you want to make them work and if you are willing to understand that changing your mentality will change how you feel about your bank account.
Being broke is mental, not physical. The desire to be wealthy and the ability to love money without being controlled by it is more permanent that having a lot of money. I can almost guarantee that once you feel like you have money, you will begin to actually have more money. I do understand the concept of misery loves company and I know some people will not do anything to make themselves happy no matter how much sense it makes, but I will say that if you are reading this and you want to make a change DO NOT SHARE YOUR POSITIVITY WITH NAYSAYERS (unless you know they want to change as well. That negativity is contagious!) Money comes and goes, but that money savvy mentality last FOREVA (in my Cardi B voice).
As long as you pay your bills and save money, live your life like you are rich. This is two-fold. In order for this to work, you have to have a good budgeting plan and stick to it (Click here for the budget worksheet that will go along with this principle). If you try to save money and spend it before it has cooled in your savings account, it will be very painful to wait those next two weeks for your paycheck to roll around again. Once you get in the groove of your savings, allow yourself to spend money on things you like. Do not make yourself feel guilty about buying that bag or those cute shoes. Knowing that your bills are paid and you have a little money saved will allow you to feel more in control of your mental, your life and your money. You do not have to save a significant amount of money or spend $700 on a pair of Louboutins, so even if you only put $50 in your savings and you spend $30 on a pair of shoes, it will be freeing to know you can do it!
DO NOT LOOK AT YOUR GROSS SALARY! Miracle worker, I am telling you! Try to not even look at your paycheck unless the amount that goes into your account looks off. The control that you will feel knowing what you have to spend is amazing to be honest and looking at how much they take out in taxes and other deductions will ruin your mood. Any followers of the Law of Attraction know that once you start talking about your downfalls, more downfalls will come.
Do things that make you feel wealthy. I am not saying do it all the time, and this is only after you pay your bills and save a little something. It doesn’t matter what it is. It could be getting a latte from Starbucks or going on a cruise. Speaking of cruises, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! I felt like I was on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous on that cruise! If I could go on a cruise once a year for the rest of my life, I would be HAPPY! But it does not matter what you do. Have a picnic in the park or a family barbecue on the beach, just do something. Even if you just sip red wine out of a really big wine glass while watching Scandal :-), it is, as most things are, mental.
Life is too short to half ass it. No one knows from one second to the next whether or not they will live to see another sunrise or spend another dollar. Everyone has a right to live how they want, whether it is positive or negative, however, for those of us who want to make a positive change, before you can change your pocket, you need to change your mentality. I do not even say I have a “lack of funds”, I simply flow with the moments until I receive my next dollar (which is not a very great span of time because of my mentality). We FORGET how strong our minds are. We ignore how delicate our emotions are and we abuse the sensitive parts of our minds. We have the nerve to blame God, our environment or our parents when it only takes a few thoughts or even a good song to change our mood.
Look out for a budget worksheet because I want all of us to lose this
Poor Man’s Mentality! Till next week!